smoke and cramps

topic posted Wed, October 27, 2004 - 11:56 AM by  Dropping
there will always be
crawling space
time
to drag yourself through
yourself
but taste your way out
lick the walls, lick
the tiles lick the grout
let these cayenne halls
spit you out with tired, bowels
burn your teeth and spit vinegar
into your wounds, smile
when your lip bites you back

such a masochist
so disconnected, from your stupidity
ablaze but kneeling in the wind
smoke, punctures your vast green meadows of rationality

know, even in that dark
as you climb, so far down
gaps of nothing in that lonely ice
through whichever blue winter
void of a long lasting breath
that flame
still follows you
it’ll char the hardest
edges of your senses
melt your tears to your face
and all you can do
is cramp in regret
posted by:
Dropping
Los Angeles
  • Re: smoke and cramps

    Wed, October 27, 2004 - 12:25 PM
    Hey Dropping, I liked it. I've taken some cold medicine so my brain isn't sharp enough to really get the meaning (my fault) but I think it sounds really good
  • Re: smoke and cramps

    Wed, October 27, 2004 - 12:26 PM
    I might make a total ass out of myself, but is this about getting drunk, its after-effects and its regrets?
    • Re: smoke and cramps

      Wed, October 27, 2004 - 1:01 PM
      not to me it isn't.
      • Re: smoke and cramps

        Wed, October 27, 2004 - 1:41 PM
        Maybe I should stop the interpretating business and just concentrate on the finesse of your words. Okay, I do feel like an ass now. Sorry, for the misinterpretation.

        Nice poem. Though, like Dave - and I don't have the excuse of flu meds - the meaning escapes me.
        • Re: smoke and cramps

          Wed, October 27, 2004 - 1:53 PM
          ferREAL! The way I always try to approach poetry/art is not to try to interpret a piece from the creator's point of view or intended meaning (seems imposible to me anyway). I just think its a futile pursuit, especially when interpreting a piece through your own perspective and faculties of perception is equally valid.

          but then... I don't know what the purpose of a tribe like this would be since I don't know how you critique without agreeing on a central point (interpretation, language, vision). Unless there IS another way of critiquing and I just haven't thought of it yet. help... help.... HELP!

          possible that i have absolutely no idea what i'm talking about and i'm throwing the whole tribe off track with nonsensical bullshit.

          thanks, Lily and Dave
          • Re: smoke and cramps

            Wed, October 27, 2004 - 1:55 PM
            and LILY!! you certainly did NOT make an ass of yourself. did the only thing you could... perceive from your OWN skull.

            inmate020882
          • Re: smoke and cramps

            Wed, October 27, 2004 - 6:20 PM
            This is interesting. I think as we get to know each other better, we start learning about each other’s approaches to art and specifically poetry. And maybe about our personal sides as well. A few posts down, Buck mentions narcissism, and maybe that's what I don't have enough of! (Even though obviously I had some form of it otherwise I might not have come up with an interpretation at all.)

            What I have lately noticed about myself is that if I read a poem which gives unlimited freedom for interpretation I tend not to feel the poem, mainly because I am too concerned with trying to understand its message, and subsequently neglect to look at its artistic expression. But that seems to closely tie in with my philosophy about art. To me art should have a message, otherwise, why say anything? Okay that's not necessarily true, and a little generalized, because I believe in art as pure form of beauty as well, but to me the most powerful art is like a protest (for lack of a better word, but I am not implying "angry art" here). I like art to speak to me about something outside of me, from some other perspective from my own. I like to be thrown into an experience and view that I never considered. I try to avoid interpreting as much as possible because that only leaves room for me.

            Just to clarify, my philosophy isn’t right or superior to any other, it is just one of many with which one can approach art (obviously).

            "I just think its a futile pursuit, especially when interpreting a piece through your own perspective and faculties of perception is equally valid. "

            I agree with you. But too often it is unclear whether the artist truly intended for the piece to be interpreted freely by its readers/viewers or whether that became a convenient excuse. I have read enough of your poems that I know the latter would never apply to you, so it is my own resistance/prejudice that I have to overcome to let myself enjoy poetry just as it written, sometimes without meaning other than the one perceived by me. Thank you for encouraging this side of me. Everyone involved here gives me the greatest of all gifts, the opportunity to learn, not only about poetry but also about myself.

            As for the central point here, there is none - yet. Or is there? But we are working on a vision (unless I just erased myself from that equation by my above statements). We all seem to critique from our gut and experience and sometimes less stable brains and then set each other straight. (Thank you all.) Of course, just like you I find it is entirely "possible that i have absolutely no idea what i'm talking about and i'm throwing the whole tribe off track with nonsensical bullshit."

            • Re: smoke and cramps

              Wed, October 27, 2004 - 8:27 PM
              Lily, what can I say? Your brain smells good... thank you for responding so personally. HOWEVER!!;

              "...or whether that became a convenient excuse. I have read enough of your poems that I know the latter would never apply to you" -your comments are unjustifiably kind (tho they made me all warm inside)
              I too often (like my previous post which you werent a fan of) get so caught up in a train of lyrical thought and imagery, I can lose my initial message/point/concept/IMPORTANCE, without which my/our work becomes far to similar to Britney Spears. and tho she may have nice breasts and I may watch her bounce up and down and up and down and up and down and up..you get the point...with the tv muted, she has the depth of a puddle of dog urine. I need YOU people to keep me SHARP, on my TOES, and focused on the potential of my own work.
              • Re: smoke and cramps

                Wed, October 27, 2004 - 9:11 PM
                God, I really love what is brewing in this tribe. How did we all find each other? Buck told me the other day that the finding each other was the easy part, but "what to do with it?" Whatever it will be, I think we all are helping each other already getting to take a look at that potential stage. I am excited, and I am happy that I didn't start a riot with my posting to you (I am still waiting for the judicial branch to cut me down) and that you seem to take it just the way I intended it. I am smiling and don't know what else to say. I am speechless... but your poetry is truly inspiring, Spears boobs and all.

                (I do always have to have the last word, my mother was right. But one more thing...)

                That brain thing - I am thinking of "The Night of the Living Dead" and can't stop laughing.
  • Re: smoke and cramps

    Wed, October 27, 2004 - 2:57 PM
    interpretation is in the eye of the b-holder. this could be about getting drunk, or stoned, or layed, or a near death car crash, or surfing, or traveling the long road of existence with hope...the "but" in "but taste your way out", makes the previous lines seperate from the rest of the stanza, but i read them as continuous, because "through" and "out" are (similies?) give the same intention. i like the metaphorical loosness of your latest pieces, i love the openess to interpret, to really massge my narcissisum, and think everything is relevant to me. thanks.
    • Re: smoke and cramps

      Wed, October 27, 2004 - 9:56 PM
      For me poetry is music. The voice acts as melody and lyric. When in harmony the soul will rise and wake. The meaning and the message are as varied as the different faces that a poet wears. Sometimes an instrumental plays and all one can do is listen to the rising, changing tones. Even in acapella the voice can carry a tune. When the words bring tears or joy to the surface, a poem has been born. The author of poem is as much the writer as the fortunate reader. A poem not shared is an only child. A poem forgotten an orphan. To even to begin to be understood, a poem must be heard. Listen carefully. Its song will sing.

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