pencil misuse

topic posted Wed, October 27, 2004 - 9:01 PM by  Dropping
don't want to be one of those BASTARDLY two a day people which I think yall hate but... FUKK YOU, no jus' messin. I wanted to post this one because its in a style that seems to fit into the discussion that was going on on my last post(smoke and cramps).

****
Female
wipes her chin
ties her hair back

Male
wipes his chin
wipes his chin
stuttering dignity
so he wipes his chin
pencils darker, a shivering grin

She, buttons her coat
fixing her collar, stares at the spoon
half hidden in the soup

allows herself one, last
salty tear drop
and shakes it from her cheek
rising from the table

He, shakes himself into
putting the pencil down
nudges it away with a reluctant
spring of his finger
it rolls then, leans a bit
collapses over the edge
as he rises, wipes his chin
frost bite under his skin, so he
pulls it over himself
that charcoal grin

She, turns on her heel
opens her mane, pours around her
sets sail for the elevator
leans her fingers into the up arrow
falling into the wall
as it closes around her

He, can only see the floor
from under his black parachute
sneers at the pencil
wedged under his toe
leans over and the chute, falls away

picks up the pencil
grasps it in two rigid hands
falls into the chair
*snap*
makes an attempt, at something more than just
a short, lead-tailed breath
as he reaches for the eraser
and she gets off the up-elevator
posted by:
Dropping
Los Angeles
  • Re: pencil misuse

    Wed, October 27, 2004 - 9:26 PM
    To use your words: FUKK YOU, BASTARD! Now that's what I'm talking about! I can't help it, I love those short story, snapshots of life poems.

    "makes an attempt, at something more than just
    a short, lead-tailed breath"
    - what a tease!

    "as he reaches for the eraser"
    - the suspense is broken. clever, very clever...

    Love all of verse #5 and especially the whole sequence of the pencil rolling, leaning, collapsing - great pace

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